Final Fantasy VII: Moments
by FurubaMikoCR
Summary: AU. Orphaned Meryll is found by young Cloud Strife. He becomes protective of her and an unbreakable sibling bond develops. Tifa and others accept her and all seems well, but when she is trained for missions and meets Vincent Valentine, something dormant from an accident long ago awakens. Can she love and be loved when she discovers she is the very thing her loved ones are fighting?
1. Prologue

**Hello minna-san! This is my first fanfiction. Im redoing something I did a very long time ago and hopefully it is much better now ^_^**

**AU This takes place on the FF7 world of Gaia in Midgar and its slums below.**

**Prologue **

We were lowly. Working night and day to keep the eight, massive Mako reactors running. So many secrets hidden within the walls of this factory. If anyone knew I wasn't supposed to be here, I may be killed for it. Everyone knew I was young, but I was much too young to be an engineer at the Shinra Electric Power Company. But where else could I go? My father spent his life upkeeping these reactors since its construction in 1976. Shinra's company is always changing, forever expanding and adapting. And that was one thing that was helping me. I would always have something to keep me busy, to keep me at work. My father died on the job, and my mother died from geostigma. Geostigma is rare for now but, if Shinra keeps taking unnecessary risks to gain more power, we may all be infected one day.

I've been trying to plan my next move. People around the factory are getting suspicious and it's only a matter of time before they find out I'm only 15 years old. My long red hair covers most of my face and makes me look older, but my big, childlike eyes don't help. I try to not look anyone directly in the face and avoid all eye contact. I bathe in the locker rooms and sleep in closets. No matter how often I change my location, they will find me. I feel it. Someone is watching. Someone higher up has been keeping their eyes on me. I fear they will catch me any day now. I will either be dropped to the slums below…or be killed.


	2. Chapter 1

**It's time for the story to really begin...**

**CHAPTER 1**

SMACK! I was jolted awake.

"Wake up!" A stern voice from a towering figure over me grabbed me by my shirt. He seemed to be awaiting a response but I was in too much shock to even swallow or blink. My throat was tight and my heart threatened to escape from my chest. My ears ringing, I tried to focus my vision. The one who spoke, violently smacked my face and was holding me by my shirt was a tall, tanned bald man in an executive blue suit and black tie Turks uniform. I caught a glimpse of the name on his badge...Rude.

_One of the Turks?! Oh no...they found me. I knew someone was watching...they'll kill me..._

He released my shirt and I fell to the ground. I saw him reach for something. I assumed it would be a gun, so that left me moments to react. My eyes darted around, looking for something I could use to defend myself and make my escape. Just cleaning supplies...and I wasn't even within reach. I was dizzy, still recovering from his heavy handed slap. But in that instant, something possessed me to run, and so I did. I dove under his legs, sliding against the floor on my back and pulled his legs to bring him down as I did so. I heard a crash behind me as I got out of the room and was grabbed by another man in a Turks uniform.

_Why are there Turks in the factory?!_

He was pale skinned with fire red hair, his badge displayed proudly...Reno. I struggled and grunted under his grip. He grabbed my face by my cheeks with one of his hands, "Ooh...look at the troublemaker we have here...this is a gorgeous one, Rude. Rude?" He was distracted, looking for Rude. I kicked him as hard as I could in between his legs. He buckled and I knew I'd have a chance to escape.

Suddenly alarms blared all around me, shooting echos through the entire factory. They were all looking for me...the unauthorized mystery that found her way into Shinra EPC. I ran. Faster and faster still. Running into dead ends and security checkpoints. Detouring and detouring again, outrunning the security chasing me until I strayed. I lost the security...but I was also lost. I ended up in a strangely lit area with no alarms blaring around it. The sound became farther and farther away as I treaded slowly, unaware. Away from the flashing red, a dull green surrounded this area and I was allured.


	3. Chapter 2

I walked slowly toward the light. There was a door that pulsed violently as if something were trying to escape. Something again possessed me to wrap my fingers around the door handle. I pulled what seemed to be a heavy door, but it opened at my slight command. The thought passed through my mind that it was too easy to open. I thought it should've been more of a barricade, heavy and locked. Something told me that this room contained something that should've been securely locked away. But somehow my access was far too easy. Something didn't add up, something wasn't making any sense…but I was too mesmerized to give it any more time in my mind. My heart was racing dangerously fast, but somehow I was completely calm. I opened the door fully and the green light poured out and engulfed me, blinding me. I don't remember walking in, allowing the door to close behind me. I had closed my eyes in reaction to the light, and when I opened them I was standing in the middle of the room. I caught glimpses of medical and science tools and lab coats, but something else had my attention. There was a small reactor in the middle of the room, not far from where I stood. It wasn't normal. I knew how a normal reactor was supposed to behave, but this one was out of control. It was spewing energy and seemed too unstable. But I couldn't turn away. I had already begun to walk toward it very mechanically.

As much as my brain said that I should stop, that I should be afraid, that I should run away…I felt more calm than ever and my legs steadily moved beneath me. No fear of the unknown. No fear of death. No longing or heartache or pain. Just peace. As I got closer to the odd reactor, energy poured from it and wrapped around me. I heard multiple gasps in awe from behind me.

"Stop!" I forced my body to move. I turned around and my eyes widened. A fleet of Turks and security were crowded at the entry and, at the head of them, clad in a white suit and black shirt…was Rufus Shinra. He had his hand outstretched and it was covered in bandages. He was calm and stern, his rumored disposition, yet he seemed alarmed. I had stopped moving and I couldn't control my body enough to react. All I could do was simply stare at him. He lowered his arm and took a few slow steps toward me. He was very young and as handsome as they say, maybe even moreso. But I could tell his face was also fear inducing. I was still frozen, wondering if they were going to kill me. Instead he took a few more steps and beckoned me to step toward him, "Carefully…now." I tried to answer him, to tell him I couldn't move…but no matter how hard I tried, no words would come. He stepped closer again and the closer he got, the more I thought of how familiar he was even though I had never seen him before. It seemed by his face that he had the same realization when he planted his feet firmly several feet in front of me. His eyes grew slightly wider, and his familiar stern blue eyes bore deeply into my own childlike blue ones. He called to someone behind him for his shotgun, which he caught swiftly and firmly with one hand and held it pointed to the ground. It was so odd how he held it, with such strength and ease, hand firmly on the barrel and trigger, perfectly balanced in his right hand. Distantly the alarms were still blaring and I could hear uproar of voices, things smashing and being broken, yelling and screaming. A riot had broken out in the midst of their search for me. Shinra turned and yelled, whipping his hand around in a gesture for the guards to scatter, "Go do your jobs! Handle the riot! I can handle this…" He turned back to me and bore his icy blue eyes into mine once more. And then there were two…

The energy continued to swirl and surround me, making Rufus wary and uneasy. I felt that he would have had me pinned down and dragged away, possibly killed by then. I figured instead he would shoot me…close range…shotgun…blow me into indistinctive pieces. But something I could see in his eyes was keeping him from putting the gun to my head.

"Stop what you're doing…you're contaminating yourself…the energy is unstable and it could kill you…get away from it!" He raised his hand to me cautiously. The way he spoke to me wasn't as cautious as it should've been. I had to make myself speak.

_Speak damn it! Say something to him!_

"I can't…it has me." I managed to whisper the words and his eyes widened in alarm. He took out a device, pressed some buttons and put it to his ear, "Father, I think you need to see this…no I...I can't kill her…" He turned his back to me and spoke low and rushed. I couldn't tell what he was saying, but I could tell that he was being harshly chastised. I heard him suddenly yell, "Illegitimate?! Father how?!...she doesn't belong here…she knows too much now…" He peeked at me, longing and wonder in his eyes, "I know…they're the same…" I was so confused. I didn't know what was happening or what was going to happen.

_Who is the same? Who is he talking about? Me? Me and who else? I don't know what's happening anymore! I feel weak…I can't breathe…maybe he was right…the mako is killing me…_

Something welled up inside of me and soon my skin was glowing, my body burning hot. I doubled over and stumbled sideways, closer and closer to the reactor. I was being pulled in! I cried out in agony and Rufus Shinra reached out to catch me, but he was a second too late. The last thing I could see was his familiar blue eyes before I fell into the reactor. Then a blinding whiteness…and everything faded.


	4. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**Processing**

Floating…it felt like I was resting on air. I felt weightless…I could see the bright nothingness beyond. I wasn't sure if my eyes were even open or not, but I was finally at rest. No more loneliness. No more torment. No more pain.

"Oh my god! Look!"

_What is that? Screaming? I thought I was dead. I thought I found peace._

"Shoot her! Shoot-AAAARGH!"

_What's happening? I can't see. This noise…gunfire? It's deafening…_

"Nothing can touch her! Oh god!" "It's like…it's like Jenova…"

_AAARGH! It's so hot! HELP! Somebody help me!_

I jolted awake screaming, hugging myself. Trying to feel that I was here. That what I felt, what I saw, was just a dream. I was shaking, vision blurry, thoughts hazy.

"Cloud! She's awake!" A female voice called. My vision cleared and sitting on her knees beside me was a fair skinned young woman with very long dark hair. I cowered and fell back onto the pillow. I was still trying to remember what happened prior to this. She looked worried and placed her hand gently on mine, "You're safe here. We've been taking care of you. Do you know where you are? Can you tell me your name?" I nodded slowly, thinking and looking around. I was in a plain room with a vanity, dresser, and bed. I didn't recognize it so I had no idea where I was or how long I had been there. I swallowed hard, "How long have I been here? What happened? How did you find me?" Just then a young man appeared in the doorway and walked slowly to me, "I found you. You've been unconscious for a few months." I looked up to him, into his eyes, and he gasped, "Mako eyes." He said it with hints of alarm and confusion but his expression didn't change in the slightest. I continued to stare into his eyes because I knew what Mako eyes were, and he had them too. I figured one of these days I'd be infected, seeing as I was around those reactors 24 hours a day. Distantly I wondered what they looked like…what my Mako eyes looked like.

I looked at their faces, the woman's faced glossed with worry and wonder and the man's face laced subtly with interest. But one thing I could see within the both of them…was kindness. I could tell they were good people. Especially being as selfless as to take a Mako-geostigma infected girl into their home and nurse her back to health for three months. I wondered if I should say anything and decided to ask, "And how did you become exposed, sir?" He looked away for a moment in an embarrassed manner as if he had hoped I hadn't noticed his eyes. He had spiky blonde hair and muscular arms, though his general frame and build was relatively youth like. His expression seemed only slightly troubled but as if his face was set that way. He said that members of SOLDIER were exposed to Mako energy as enhancement. I simply nodded, having heard this before at some point, and didn't pry any further. When he looked back to me, he seemed a bit confused that I didn't advance the subject any further. He let the subject die and sat at the edge of the bed I was laying on. The young woman spoke with caution, "Meryll…that IS your name, right? I saw the tag on your Shinra EPC uniform and looked up your information in the databases. We were worried since you weren't waking up. I wasn't sure what else to do." I shook my head, "No…I understand…it's just…I don't know who you people are…" She seemed shocked and then upset with herself, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm Tifa Lockhart, and this is Cloud Strife. Your last name came up as Shinra, which couldn't be possible. I thought because since it's the company name there must've been an error or some type of default setting. Do you have a last name? Or…" I took a moment to answer because I couldn't remember my last name.

_I don't know…all I can remember is Meryll. But of course that wasn't my parents names…how could I forget the surname of my parents? Shinra...could my name really be Shinra...it has to be just as she said...it's impossible!_

I couldn't remember the name my parents had. But one thing I was sure of…my parents and I didn't have the same last name. And I wonder if I ever even knew theirs. I was becoming more and more confused the harder I thought about things and it just made me mentally and physically drained. I looked at Cloud, who was watching me. When his eyes met mine, he nodded and his expression softened. I looked back at Tifa, who still held my weak, fragile hand, "What did you find out about me? Even I don't know much about myself…so I wonder what Shinra has to say about me." She sighed in frustration, "Well...there are a lot of censors. Most of the information before age 10 we can't access but we're working on it. All I could manage were simple things like your hair and eye color had been blonde and blue, the current known amount of Mako exposure and that you just turned 18 about 6 months ago. I didn't believe the information at first, but then the face in the photo given perfectly resembled you." I sat up, shocked and confused. I couldn't stop shaking my head, "But...I was told...I'm supposed to be 15 years old. And my parents...they were...DAMN IT! Why can't I remember anything?! All I remember is that damned factory! The last thing I remember is running from the Turks. The Turks! They were in the factory!" Their faces were plastered in disbelief as they exchanged looks with each other, "I know it sounds crazy but they were there! The alarms were blaring...and they were chasing me. And then the riot broke out-" Cloud interrupted, "So you were behind that riot?" I shook my head, "No not at all! In the process of the commotion from the alarmed chase, the riot broke out." Tifa looked as if she were thinking very hard about something, "Something doesn't add up. How can you be 15? You don't even look 15. Your recorded birth year proves it." I looked at my hands, touched my long red hair, wrapped my arms around my developed chest. I didn't know what to make of it. Hadn't I always had red hair? I was always bigger than the other children who were supposed to be my age. I never did fit in. My memory went back to as far as age ten. I never thought much of it. All I was sure of were my parents and I was happy with that, but then I started to wonder if they were even my real parents. I knew I didn't really look like them but they were all I had. How could I question any further? My life suddenly felt staged, made up.

_What happened at age ten? What happened to me when I was ten?! Why can't I remember anything before that?! This has to have something to do with Shinra. Things need to start making sense soon or I'm gong to drive myself crazy with all of these questions! I have to find the truth..._

I got flashes of memories, including Rufus and the reactor. I grabbed the sides of my head. It felt like it was splitting open. I was hysterical as I started to come to a realization, "Someone set up my life...I want to know how I'm even alive! I fell! I remember! I fell into an unstable reactor! Where did you find me?" My question was directed at Cloud, who I peeked at from under my eyelashes. He sighed sadly, as if he were recalling something too unpleasant to bring up again, "You were badly injured, oozing geostigma from your nose and ears. I thought you were dead but then you tried to get up and then collapsed again. I found you on the outskirts of the slums. From the way you were positioned and your physical damage, you probably fell from above." I didn't want to believe any of it, but it felt strangely like the truth in my heart.

_I'm three years older than I was told? Who would want me to be someone I'm not? And who threw me from Midgar? It seems too messy to have been murder for a company like Shinra EPC. An accident? Maybe..._

"Here. Come with me." Cloud was standing by the bed with his hand outstretched to me. I hadn't even noticed him get up. I nodded and put my hand into his. I stumbled and cursed, hating how often my body wasn't doing what I wanted. I slumped to the floor and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I wept...harder than I ever had before.

_I don't know what to do anymore. My life...everything I've known is a lie...I just can't take this...I can't handle it...I wish it would just end._

As I sobbed uncontrollably, I choked and coughed up the black ooze of geostigma. I couldn't move...I couldn't breathe. Before I realized what was happening, Cloud lifted me up and into his arms. He cradled me gently, and I was at peace with his arms surrounding my body. I felt safe for the first time in my life...he made me feel safe. Instead of protesting like I would have, I was grateful and rested my head onto him. I heard a phone ringing as he walked us out of the room, through a small hallway and to a bathing room. He sat me down on the tile and I realized how lowly and pathetic I felt. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I had had enough. Tifa came to the door, "That was Barret. I need to go pick up Marlene. I'll be back soon." She was in a hurry and rushed off, not hearing Cloud call after her. He sighed and looked at me, worry in his eyes, "Can you bathe yourself...or...do you need help?" He seemed to get more and more uncomfortable as he spoke. I tried to keep my breathing steady as I held myself up, but that was already too much of a chore. I couldn't stand let alone bathe myself. I wondered when was the last time I had eaten, "I need food." He nodded, "Alright. I'll get something for you soon, but I'm sure a hot bath will help you. You've been sweating off a terrible fever." I looked at the pale green tile and nodded, "I need you...I need help." I looked to him desperately and his expression tightened with worry. Quickly, swiftly, and with great care he removed my clothing. It wasn't my uniform, so it must've been something that belonged to Tifa. He picked me up and slowly lowered me into the hot water. He dipped a cloth into the water and placed it folded on top of my head. Then he sat on the floor at the side of the tub, facing away from me.

I let the herbal water soothe me as we sat in silence. I didn't know what to say. My thoughts rushed in so I spoke them aloud, "I was orphaned...living in the factory. They had finally caught me sleeping in a closet. Oddly Shinra sent the Turks out looking for me and I still can't think of a reason why he didn't send the factory security. I ended up wandering to a room with an unstable reactor. The mako energy engulfed me and I fell in. I cant remember anything after that. I just woke up here." I decided not to mention Rufus. Something told me it would be best not to say anything about him. Cloud seemed to think for a moment, "Hmm...it's strange that you're even alive...That much exposure would certainly have killed you." I shrugged and looked up at the sunbeams through the small window, "I guess there must be something special about me..." Cloud peeked at me, meeting my eyes for a moment, "Definitely a mystery...but don't worry..." He turned his head in my direction but averted his eyes down, "I'll protect you."

The weeks passed, turning into months, and I recovered from the mako poisoning. Everyone was baffled. I was completely and thoroughly infected, beyond any level of recovery. But somehow I could breathe better, see more clearly, run faster and farther, lift five times my weight. I had become an elite clone of my former self. It was truly amazing and no one could explain it. My eyes glowed more than any known case of Mako eyes and my natural red hair had bled out, revealing a stunning silver blonde. It was the same blonde depicted in my profile picture that Tifa was talking about. My skin glowed healthily and I had more energy than I knew what to do with. Tifa and I trained together everyday. In just a few weeks, I wasn't far from being her match. She told me she was proud of me and, for once, I was proud of myself. I felt like for the first time in my life, I was Meryll. I felt like I was slowly but surely becoming th person I was always meant to be. Over time, the dark memories faded and I was able to smile and laugh. I was fitting in with Cloud and Tifa and their friends. I learn how to wield a blade from Cloud, shoot a gun from a muscular dark-skinned man named Barret, and fight from Tifa. Barret's daughter Marlene began to follow me around everywhere. I didn't have any siblings, so it was nice to feel like a big sister.

I was laying in an abandoned church where flowers would grow in the sunlight. I closed my eyes, listening to Marlene's distant humming. Everything was peaceful until Tifa's voice echoed through the building, "Meryll! Marlene! You've got to come back now!" Her voice hinted urgency and worry, so I grabbed Marlene's hand and we ran out of the church to Cloud and Tifa's house. When we got inside, everyone was crowded around in a circle. Cloud took my hand and pulled me down next to him, briefly pointing to the television. I could see footage of someone talking to Rufus Shinra, and bold words ran across the screen: PRESIDENT SHINRA FOUND DEAD...


	5. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

All I could think of was Rufus Shinra. For some reason I worried. Not particularly for Rufus but more so for what was to come. President Shinra was dead, and that meant change, and change could either be good or bad. At that moment, I wasn't sure which it would be, and that is what worried me. Then Rufus was on the television and next to him were two familiar men...Reno and Rude. I clenched my fists, "It's those two!" I thought of how Reno had touched me...groping me as I struggled, and how Rude had slapped me heavily. I was so angry I was trembling. I had let all of my past before Cloud and Tifa go, but then thoughts of that day in the factory were haunting me...filling me up with a distant but familiar anger. Cloud stood up and guided me out of the room. When we got outside I could feel something welling up, something I wasn't sure I could control. I didn't look at Cloud...I didn't turn around to face him...I just took off running, fast and far. He called after me and I could feel him running after me. We were both quick and got far away and out of sight of the house within the minute. I doubled over and fell to my knees. I didn't open my eyes until Cloud spoke in alarm, "Oh my god...Meryll! NO!" Something released and I slowly stood with my back to him. I looked at my hands, which were glowing green with a strange mist as if energy hovering over my skin.

_What's happening to me? Why do these strange things keep happening?! I just want peace! I can't take this unknown any longer!_

Everything seemed different...more vibrant, more noticeable. Everything intensified and clarified. I didn't want to admit, but I knew what really happened to the Mako in my body. I didn't just overcome the poisoning of it...it was transforming me further than I had already been altered. I looked up at the sky, trying to find the words to say to Cloud to reassure him of my sanity. I looked back down to my hands, "Cloud? I didn't overcome the Mako when I was poisoned..." I turned slowly to face him, "I absorbed it." I was shocked at this realization. There was no way any normal person could have been so poisoned and not only survive but also fully recover. The unstable Mako had become as much a part of me as my own blood. I could feel it. I looked into Cloud's eyes as he looked back into mine, "I am...frightened, Cloud. What does this mean?" Tears started flowing uncontrollably...I couldn't move. Cloud rushed several feet and to me, embracing me tightly. I buried myself into him, taking refuge in his security. He stroked my hair, patting me on the head like a child, "I told you I would protect you. We will work together to control this. Until then..." He pulled me away from his chest and looked into my eyes, wiping away a few of my tears, "we can't tell anyone. Our group has killed people who've gone insane from Mako poisoning. I don't want anyone to think you're dangerous."

_I just want us all to be together! I NEED us all to stay together...I ...just couldn't live without any of you...but he's right...I love them so much...I couldn't bear to hurt anyone..._

I nodded despondently. He was always right. I didn't want to be seen as a monster who needed to be destroyed...I needed to control the Mako within me. If anyone knew that I absorbed the very infection they're fighting against, they may wonder how safe I am to have around. I cared so much for them...they're my family...I couldn't bear it if we couldn't be a family anymore. I buried my face in Cloud's chest, "I love you." He patted my head, "As do I." I held him as tight as I could...in hopes that I could hold on to our family forever.

I calmed down and everything was still. Cloud tightened and I could feel someone approaching. We looked over to see a man cloaked in red and black, dark hair falling around his face. From what I could see of his face, he was oddly very handsome. His skin was pale and his eyes were a deep and bright blood red...entrancing. He was very tall, towering over both me and Cloud as he stepped closer to us. Cloud loosened his grip on me and faced the man, "Where have you been, Vincent?"

_Vincent...Vincent Valentine? It must be him...those eyes..._

Vincent grunted coldly and spoke in a low, raspy, and monotonous voice, "It isn't your concern where I have been, but I have been able to get close enough to Rufus Shinra to find the truth behind President Shinra's death and what Rufus plans to do now." Cloud nodded, "Right. Let's head back to the house." I couldn't move. I couldn't focus on anything that was happening. My eyes were locked on Vincent. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt petrified. He had noticed my presence there and was staring coldly down at me. Cloud noticed and pulled me close, patting my head, "This is my sister, Meryll. You've been gone so long, you two were never able to meet." I nodded to him, desperately searching for words to say, "Hello, Vincent Valentine. It's nice to finally meet you."

_Vincent Valentine...enchanting...and terrifying... All I know is that he is a former Turk and that he was experimented on by Dr. Hojo. It's the main reason he joined Cloud, Tifa and the others...revenge. But it seems that he's become more than just an ally to them by the way they speak of him. Their mannerisms toward each other as they spoke...almost like long time friends..._

I started to get nervous. He just stared at me as if he were studying me very carefully. I wondered if he could sense that something was...off about me. I felt my energy well up in an attempt to compose myself, then he met my eyes fiercely and he looked away. His eyes had grown wider as if he had seen something he couldn't believe he saw. He turned and walked hastily toward the house. We watched him get a little ways away and Cloud chuckled dryly. I stared in confusion. He shook his head, "I think he was blushing."

We began to walk, taking our time in the fresh air at sunset. Whenever we were alone he'd tell me stories. Stories of he and Tifa, of SOLDIER, of Sephiroth. Nostalgically he would speak of Aeris and Zack. I could tell he loved them both more than he would ever say. Though they died before I had the chance to meet them, somehow I hold their memory dearly to my heart. He always talked and shared a lot with me. Tifa told me that before I came around, Cloud barely ever spoke. Now he talks as much as anyone. Using words instead of vague gestures as he had done before. I even see him smile sometimes.

When we approached the house, Cloud gestured for me to go ahead of him. I rounded the corner, through the kitchen and into the television room. As I entered the room I gently bumped into Vincent...of all people. He overreacted and turned quickly, his golden metallic armor tearing into my bare arm as he did so. He cursed under his breath and pushed me into the kitchen. Once we were alone in the kitchen, I held up my arm and we both gasped. My wound had already begun to heal itself.

_I...I'm regenerating. This presents so many more possibilities! Maybe I can regenerate limbs. Can I die? Maybe I age more slowly...I could live for centuries..._

Vincent was evidently alarmed. He grabbed my healed arm, "What are you?" He was squeezing my arm rather forcefully and I did not like that...energy began to well up again, "Let...me...go!" He pulled on my arm, "I asked you a question! Where did you come from?!" We were causing a scene. Barret carried Marlene, who was fast asleep, out through the front door. I didn't see Yuffie, so she had probably left, and Tifa was holding Cloud back, urging him to give us a moment without interfering. I looked deep into Vincent's blood-red eyes and could tell that my Mako eyes made him uncomfortable. Without breaking our gaze, I reached up and rested my hand on his metallic armor. With ease, it shattered away in pieces and clanged onto the hard floor. He let go of me and hid his arm under his red cloak. I turned and headed for the door, gesturing for him to follow me into the night. It had gotten fairly dark, a rose color could be seen on the distant horizon. But the moon was very luminous and it lit up the land around us. When the house became distant enough for no one to overhear, I turned to look at him, "I know you suspect me, but I am no one special." He stepped forward angrily, "You're lying!" Though his voice was more harsh than angry, it was more frightening than if he had yelled, "Alright...I suppose I am a special case. Only because of the unstable Mako I fell in." He retreated a bit, confused, "Fell? You weren't experimented or tested on?" I shook my head violently, "No! Not at all! I worked for the Shinra Electric Power Company. I stumbled upon a room that contained an unstable reactor. It took hold of me...and I fell in. The next thing I can remember, Cloud and Tifa are nursing me back to health. They saved my life...somehow instead of it consuming and killing me...I absorbed it." I was just as confused as he was. I looked down at my feet, trying to hide my large tears. I still didn't know who I was. So many things I just couldn't get to make sense. I could sense him hesitate, probably wondering what to do or say to make me stop crying. He took my hand and the surprise of it stopped my tears. I looked at our hands. He rested my hand on the one I had broken the armor off of, which was wrapped in black fabric. But the other hand had a fingerless black leather glove and he touched my hand gingerly with his smooth fingertips. His skin was so soft and I blushed in response. I'm not sure how long we stood there, but then...he finally spoke, "I...I understand. I believe you." I looked up at him and his eyes were locked on our hands. I could tell he made a great effort not to look at my face. He sighed, "I understand more than you know. If you are conflicted or confused about your incident, ask me anything." He hesitantly looked into my eyes, "I'm sorry...about earlier...hurting you was not my intention." I shook my head, "When you've had it tough, it's easy to suspect others. It's easy for us to be defensive." I held his fingers gently and smiled to him, "You are a good man, I can tell. It's just...many bad things have happened to you. I will be sure to come to you when I order my thoughts." He nodded and released my hands slowly. I hesitated but began to walk away slowly toward the house with the faint sense that he was watching me.

I lie awake at night thinking of all the events the day had to offer when there was a knock on my door, "Meryll...are you awake?" It was Tifa. I got up and opened the door to let her in. We sat down on my bed, "I'm sorry if I woke you but...I was just so worried about you. You didn't say anything at dinner about what happened and...I just got so concerned for you. Is everything alright with you and Vincent?" I was surprised by such a straightforward question. I acted confused, "I don't know what you mean." She reached over and turned on the lamp, "I knew it! You're blushing! What happened today?!" She was shaking me playfully by my shoulders, which was slowly making me dizzy, "Okay! Okay! I'll tell you!" She looked at me wide-eyed in anticipation, "We started off on the wrong foot. There was a misunderstanding and we resolved it. We came to an understanding of each other and that's it." She raised an eyebrow, "Then why are you blushing?" I shook my head, "It's just hot in here!" She shook her head and pointed in my face, "No! HAHA! Admit it! You are purely fascinated by his mystery aren't you? I know you. I know how you get when something interests you. But this is the first time you've shown any interest in a man!" Cloud opened the door, "What the hell is going on? Why have I heard nothing but giggling and shouting for twenty minutes?!"We stared at him apologetically, feeling chastised like children, "We're sorry." Cloud shook his head and sighed. It was silent for a moment before Tifa blurted out, "Meryll has an interest in Vincent!" Cloud's eyes widened, "WHAT?!" There I sat put on the spot...confused and embarrassed...heart racing and my mind a blur.


	6. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

I was mortified. I hated the fuss over Vincent and me. I barely knew the man...but I knew that he had me the moment I saw him. "Nooo! It's not what you think!" I denied. Tifa nodded, "Yes it is. And by the way they were talking earlier, he may have taken interest in her as well." Cloud furrowed his brow, "I almost killed him earlier for grabbing your arm like that." I shook my head, "No, I assure you it's okay. He said if I needed to talk with him then I could." Cloud thought for a moment, "Vincent was always misunderstood. He can seem cold and distant, but he has a good heart. He can surprise you with his kindness. If he is being relatively open with you and inviting you to come to him for aid then I say go for it. Vincent isn't one to play games. He's straightforward and honest. I don't know much about him, but he's one of the best friends I have." Tifa nodded and smiled, placing her hand on mine, "Who knows? Maybe you will fall in love. It would be good for you both. He hasn't allowed himself any real happiness since Lucrecia...and you, you haven't allowed yourself to love. It's time to live." They were right. I hadn't been able to love, but after Vincent's eyes met mine, my heart opened and I was hopeful. I wiped my tear stained cheeks, "Thank you. I will be more open." Cloud walked over and kissed my forehead before taking Tifa's hand and leading her out of my room. I was suddenly thankful that the Mako incident happened. If it didn't...I wouldn't have such a wonderful family.

The days passed without any Mako flares and I was too afraid to induce them. Cloud said it was alright and that we'd give it some time. More and more often I thought of Red XIII. I called him by his real name, Nanaki. I had only spoken with him once, shortly after I had recovered enough from the Mako poisoning to go outside. I was under a tree crying, my red hair still blazing, when he came and sat quietly next to me. He was so wise and comforting. Before I had realized it, I had talked with him for hours under that tree. He gave me the courage to move forward and fight the infection. I was able to push myself past my pain to train and become stronger and stronger. I owe him a lot for my motivation. I absently thought as the days passed if I would see him again. I had begun to feel lost again. The only thing distracting me from being so forlorn was Vincent coming over everyday, planning and strategizing with Cloud. None of us knew what about just yet. Things had definitely changed between Vincent and me. I wondered if Cloud said anything about me to him. But somehow it was nice. The air around us was awkward...but also pleasing. When we saw each other we would blush and al I could manage was, "Hello Vincent Valentine." He would just nod to me, with a kind and soft look in his eyes. Sometimes he would ask me if I was alright, and I would smile and nod to him. We stared into each other's eyes a lot, even when other's were around. Sometimes we would just get so lost. One morning I was finally ready to open up, "Vincent Valentine? Would you care to take a walk with me?" He nodded and we walked out into the warm breeze.

We walked in silence for a short while before I had the courage to speak, "I...I don't know who I really am. I can't remember anything before the age of ten. My parent and...I'm not even sure if they were my real parents. Tifa found my profile and is trying to unlock more information about me, but so far it says my name is Shinra." Vincent stopped walking and I turned to face him, "How is that possible. Shinra only has 3 sons. Shinra being the only legitimate son." I shook my head, "I can't say. I don't even know my last name. Tifa didn't believe it either and wrote it off as a system error because my last name wasn't known. But even though that isn't for sure...something tells me I'm related somehow. I just need to find the truth! I'm going insane every day trying to figure out who I am and who I was. I just have to find out! I have to!" I started to cry out, holding myself, in frustration. I hated how much of a crybaby I was becoming, "My hair! Look at it! It used to be red! My eyes were blue! Now I have the weirdest Mako eyes I've ever seen! If I really am related to Rufus Shinra, I want to know what happened to me and why I was sent away to a fake set of parents!" I screamed in anger and my body began to glow. I tried to control my breathing and the light slowly dimmed. I tell my eyes were glowing, "I'm sorry..." I turned away from him and held myself.

_What am I going to do now?! Vincent must think I'm a monster! Even if President Shinra was my father or something, he is dead now! I'll never know who I am!_

I didn't think he would want to be around me after that. I heard footsteps and was sure he was walking away from me, but then he surprised me once again. He spun me around and pulled me to him. I stood there, pressed against him, wide eyed. He held me tightly with him armored arm and touched my hair with the bare fingers of his other hand. I relaxed and closed my eyes, breathing steadily as he spoke, "Whoever you used to be may be important, but only in the making of who you are now. Because of everything, you are the Meryll we all know now. If anything had been different, you wouldn't be you." I rested my arms on his chest and breathed slowly, comforted, "You're right. Thank you, Vincent Valentine." I looked up into his eyes and he hesitantly touched my face lightly, "I will help you. I will do everything I can for you." I smiled and he nodded. His eyes shifted and I followed, seeing the abandoned church. We walked inside and into the sunlight where the flowers grew. I closed my eyes, taking it in, and was content. I looked over at Vincent who was watching me with an expression I hadn't seen before. It was unusually soft. We barely knew each other, but somehow I could feel something forming in our silence. Something was growing, out of our control.

Cloud and Vincent left out until early morning almost every night. As the nights went on, Tifa grew lonely and began sleeping with me, slipping into my bed in the middle of each night. I admitted to her one night shortly after she settled into my bed, "I miss...them both." She turned over and faced me, "Yes, I do too. I'm sure Cloud misses us too. I'm sure Vincent misses you as well." I buried my face into the pillow, "I doubt that...I don't make any diference in his life. He just pities me." Tifa reached over and tucked unruly hair behind my ear. I could see her expression become serious and thoughtful in the moonlight from my window, "Meryll, you have no clue do you? I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is noticing. He cares for you. Far more then he will show." I blushed, not knowing what to say, "I didn't know...I mean...maybe I didn't want to see. He's such a mystery. There's still so much I do not know about him...and I'm afraid to ask." She nodded, "And don't. Let him open up to you. Just look at how comfortable he is becoming from listening to all of the wonderful things you have to say. Whenever you speak, he is at full attention. I've been paying attention. Mainly for your sake." She giggled and it was contagious, "Just be yourself, Meryll. He will open to the amazing person you are. You'll be 19 soon. The time has been flying. I've been able to watch over you and see you mature over these many months through your hardships. I am very proud of you and your strength. You've been through a lot, but you have us now...and we love you. This is your home no matter what." She wiped away my tears and pulled me to her chest. "Thank you..." was all I could whisper before I drifted to sleep.

Cloud and Vincent were ready to share the information they gathered all that time they had been gone. Barret, Yuffie, Cid, Cloud, Tifa, Vincent and I stood gathered around a blank screen. I had gotten a letter saying that Nanaki would be joining us, so I was impatient. I looked around the room only to see Marlene asleep through the open door of a nearby room, "Where's Nanaki?" Cid scratched his head, "Who?" Cloud sighed, "Red XIII. You don't even know his name? Meryll doesn't call him by his experiment ID." Yuffie giggled, elbowing Cid in his arm and he waved dismissively. Moments later, there was scratching at the door. I perked up and opened the door, please to see Nanaki standing there on all fours with perfect posture. I smiled to him and he nodded politely, "It is wonderful to see you again, Miss Meryll. I was flattered, "Oh please, you don't have to be so formal Nanaki. Meryll is fine." He nodded and we walked into the room where everyone else waited. Nanaki stood closely by me. I think he took such a liking to me because I treated him like a being, calling him by his name rather than some specimen name Dr. Hojo gave him. I wasn't sure if he was more like a wolf or a lion, but either way he was very tall. I looked over to Vincent who stood across from me and his eyes smiled back to me. Cloud cleared his throat, "Meryll...I think you should sit." I sat down slowly, suddenly worried. I didn't even realize I was tangling my fingers into Nanaki's fur. He rubbed his face on my hand reassuringly, "Calm down. It will be alright." I nodded and looked at Cloud and Vincent, who stood expressionless. Cloud then held up a disk, "This is a security tape from Shinra EPC factory. You need to brace yourselves. Some of this is hard to watch. Meryll, don't be afraid. Neither Vincent nor I judge you. We know that you have no memory of after you were pulled into the Mako." Tifa sat by me and held my hand. I was terrified of what to expect, of what the disk revealed. Vincent nodded reassuringly and moved aside, allowing Cloud to insert the disk.

The video cam up onto the screen and a reactor room appeared, "That's the unstable reactor!" I was in shock of my own outburst but then was engrossed into the video. Cloud kneeled by me and watched, patting my knee. It all played out onto the screen. My entering the room. The reactor taking hold of me. Shinra with the Turks and Security rushing in to stop me. Someone throwing Shinra his shotgun. There was audio, but it was fairly muffled. No one could understand the conversation that Rufus and I had. But when Rufus stood closer to the camera when he was contacting his father, the audio picked up just enough to hear him speak hastily about me looking like someone. The word 'illegitimate' was used often and it only pushed me closer to my assumption. I looked at Cloud, who had a look that said he believed the same. When it came to me falling into the reactor, Tifa gasped and it was silent. Nothing happened for a few moments. Rufus ran from the reactor, where he had tried to save me, and came back with about 20 of the security guards and several scientists. They inspected the reactor in protective suits, then they jumped back in reaction to a large burst of energy. Everything was too bright for a moment, and then it cleared. "Oh my god! Look!" The security, the scientists and Rufus backed away from what emerged from the reactor. It hovered above in an alluring, glowing light. Its hair swirled around its face and it eyes glowed blindingly. Suddenly the energy swirled around it in a tentacle like manner. "Shoot her! Shoot- AAARGH!" It attempted to strike at Rufus, who barely dodged it, landing several feet away. The guards and Rufus Shinra shot at it without pause, but nothing was happening. Nothing could touch it. "Nothing can touch her! OH GOD!" I was sobbing, frightened of what I believed the being would reveal itself to be. It was like my dream...the voices...the gunshots... One of the scientists threw something at it, turning the Mako red as it fell to the floor screaming. It writhed and scratched at its skin as if it were burning alive. It was terrifying to watch. The security ran to it and grabbed it. Only then, with the glowing dimmed, could we clearly see the face. It was a woman with silvery blonde hair that slowly changed to red. Her eyes were blue, still bright and aglow.

It was me...screaming...feral...and I watched myself burst with energy...and kill... all of those men, leaving Shinra trembling beneath me as I stared into his eyes.


	7. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

**REALIZATION**

"No!" I screamed in disbelief as I watched myself kill all of those people. I stood over Rufus last and I stared at him for a long tim before tossing him aside and leaving the room. I blew the door from the hinges and walked slowly out. Rufus sat in shock for a moment before he called his father and rushed from he room after me. Vincent stopped the video. I had retreated into myself.

_I am a monster. Why am I here? What if I'm putting these good people in danger?_

Tifa rubbed my ice cold hands and my shoulders, trying to bring me back to awareness. But I was lost, "I...I killed. There were others...weren't there?" Vincent tried to reason with me, "Meryll...that doesn't-" I exploded at him, "How many?!" Cloud gripped my shoulders, trying to get me to look at him, "173. No factory workers were reported. Just security, and a few Turks." I grabbed both sides of my head, "You must all think I'm a monster...you must hate me..." Yuffie and Cid had backed away during the footage and stood silent. Tifa rested her head on my shoulder, "We love you. We know that's not who you are. We know you wouldn't purposefully kill anyone." Cloud brought my face up to look at him, "She's right. We love you. Besides...there's no way you would lose control like that again. You're too strong, too aware, and there's no sources of Mako around here. And just look at how controlled you are right now." I looked over to Nanaki, who pressed closer to me and rested his head on my lap. Barret stepped closer, "I don't understand everything that happened, but you take better care of my girl Marlene than I do most days. I ain't gonna take her away cuz of something from your past." I nodded to him thankfully and slowly stood. I stumbled and Vincent caught me. He held me steady and felt my forehead, "You're burning up." My vision became more and more blurry. All I could manage was, "I'm so sorry," before everything went black.

I could feel people around me, hear them talking and moving, but I could make my body respond. I went in and out of consciousness, unknowing of how long I had been laying there. For all I was aware of, days had definitely passed. I heard Tifa crying, "Please. None of it matters to us. Just please wake up." I could feel her rubbing my left hand as it was pressed to her cheek. I heard footsteps, then Cloud spoke, "Why would he do this? I can't believe I actually looked up to him?" I could feel Tifa shift, but she still held on to my hand, "I want Sephiroth dead." I wanted to hear more but I drifted out again.

"Meryll..." Cloud sounded exhausted, voice filled to the brim with worry, as he stroked my hand continuously in an attempt to wake me. I heard footsteps and Vincent spoke lowly, "Cloud, you should get some rest. I can stay with her." Cloud kissed my hand and put it gently to my side. I heard him walk away and say to Vincent, "Wake me if anything happens." Vincent sat by me, "I will." Cloud's footsteps grew farther and farther away and the room became deafeningly quiet. He sighed in a stressful manner, breaking the silence, as if he were frustrated. I heard him unhook something and drape it over my feet at the end of the bed. He settled and sighed again, "I don't know how to help. I can't take being this useless. I can't take feeling this helpless. Why can't I ever help the people I care the most about?" He took my hand as if I were made of porcelain, "I feel as though...I let you down somehow. I let you charm me, and every moment I spend with you...I can't help myself. You are so beautiful, burning with passion in everything you do. It makes me want to know more. It makes me want to feel again." He pressed my hand against his cheek as if he were desperate for something, "Please...if you wake up, I'll learn to show how I feel. I'll be more open. Everything you deserve me to be, I will be. I'll tell you that I've loved you from the moment I looked into your bright Mako eyes. I would do anything...if you'd just open your eyes." I was so tired, but I pushed myself to respond. He buried his face into my hand and rested his head down on the bed. Moments passed as I struggled to wake up. Finally, my hand twitched and Vincent sat up. My eyes fluttered open and I was trembling, disoriented and weak. I looked over to Vincent who stared at me wide eyed in disbelief. He stroked the sides of my face, pushing my hair in all directions away from my face, "...awake...you're awake...I worried..." He sighed in relief repeatedly, almost as if he were sobbing. I tried to speak but barely any words came, "...love...love me?" He got closer to me and ran his fingers through my hair. The faintest smile formed on his lips, "Yes." I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek, "...had me...when your eyes...met mine..."

We were smiling, I was crying, and he kissed away my tears, "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have suggested we show you the factory footage." I shook my head lightly, "No...no...I wanted to know..." He pressed his forehead to mine, "I thought you weren't going to wake up. You've been unconscious for 37 days."

_37 days! My god... I'm afraid to find out what I've missed in over a month._

He kissed my forehead, then backed away and kissed my hand, "I should tell Cloud and Tifa you're awake." He hesitated to leave my side, but once he did he rushed out of the room and came minutes later with Cloud and Tifa. They ran to either side of me and each took my hands. "My god, Meryll. We were so worried," Tifa cried, tears already staining her cheeks. Cloud stroked my sweaty forehead, "Is there anything you need?" I looked at the three of them, "Information."

After Tifa helped me take a nice hot bath, they gave me soup and sat around me. It seemed as though none of them knew where to begin. Tifa pulled out some papers from a folder, "We've been working on decoding and hacking your profile to get the censored information. We finally did it. Your real name is Merllorzoa Shinra. They put Meryll in quotations with a note indicating it was your father's pet name for you. It states your height as 5'5. Age 19. And you're listed as President Shinra's only daughter and youngest child. You have three older brothers, Rufus Shinra and your half brothers Lazard Deusericus and Evan Townshend. You have a remarkable IQ of 146 with superior endurance. Mako levels last known were safe. No Mako eyes and no poisoning as recorded a year ago. Someone knew about you and was updating your profile without letting the President know." She handed Cloud some clippings from a newspaper and he hesitated, "Did you say Lazard Deusericus? He's a SOLDIER union executive in Shinra EPC. He had sent Zack on a lot of missions. He oversaw management and came up with strategy guidelines. At least he did when SOLDIER was an independent department." I thought for a moment, "So we should be able to find him." Cloud nodded and Vincent shifted, "I'll find him for you." I nodded with a smile and Cloud read from the clipping Tifa handed him, "'Shinra's only daughter kidnapped.' It appears President Shinra sent the Turks all over Gaia looking for you. Eventually they gave up, needing the Turks to be used elsewhere." He handed me the article and I scanned it. He was right. On the front was the headline Cloud read and a photo of a younger, thinner President Shinra holding a beautiful blue eyed woman with long red hair. Our eyes, our faces. She and I were the same, "Is this my mother?" Tifa nodded, "Yes, it is. You get your beauty from her. Sadly...we don't know where she is." Vincent placed his hand on my knee, "She hasn't been seen by any of the public since they gave up the search for you." I suddenly longed to know her and decided I would find her, whether she be well, sick, or in a grave. I wanted to know where she was. I nodded, "Cloud, can I have this?" He patted my head gently, "Of course. We can find more pictures for you later." I smiled and stared at the photo.

_My parents. These are my parents. I can't believe I finally know who they are. Everything is coming together. My name is Merllorzoa Shinra, only daughter of President Shinra. I'm an important person. Even though my father is dead, maybe I can do something about my brother. Rufus was planning on controlling the world with fear. I couldn't let that happen._

Tifa pulled out more papers from the folder and looked them over, "Whoever took you...they tested on you. These results aren't from Shinra labs. At age six you were taken. They tested different types of Mako energy on your body and tested your brain function in the process. They were trying to find out why you were able to absorb Mako energy instead of either dying or going crazy with the infection. They wanted not only to find out why, but to extract it." I thought for a moment, "My father knew. Somehow the information was leaked and I was taken in an effort to extract my ability and give it to others so that anyone exposed could just absorb it. Then no one would die from it. Hmm...but that's not the same as immunity." Cloud agreed, "No it isn't the same. But whoever it was running the tests, they all died. When you were nine your body couldn't contain all of the Mako and you...exploded...in a sense." Vincent cut in, "You expelled the energy from you, disintegrating every living thing within close range of you. It wasn't your fault." Tifa nodded, "At that point you may have exhausted your Mako levels, making you seem like a normal girl. But the tests they ran were torturous, and the trauma is most likely why you can't remember anything before age ten. The people who found you must've worked at the factory. President Shinra must've found out you were there after Reno and Rude found you and sent Rufus to try to bring you back." I was confused, "But then why was he calling me illegitimate?" Cloud seemed confused, "No, Meryll, Rufus said legitimate. Probably in shock because he remembers you. He's about 6 or 7 years older than you." I felt such relief, "Then I need to go speak to Rufus." Tifa smirked, "I thought you might. I got his office number and hooked up a line you could call him from without him tracking where you are. We don't really know where his intentions for you lie now that your father is dead." I shook my head, "No...not yet. What if we leak information that Shinra's only daughter is alive?" Cloud laughed dryly, "It would cause an uproar and commotion. We should do it. But very little information and maybe some pictures of when you were little with a more recent photo. The red hair ones." Tifa seemed worried, "I don't know..." Vincent thought for a moment, "They won't be able to touch her even if they do get hostile. Besides...she can handle herself just fine." Cloud agreed, "She's protected in the slums so she'll always have back up. Everyone we know has her safety as a priority, in and out of the city." Tifa nodded, "Alright then. Just be careful."

_Things will be whole soon. I will remember and uncover everything! I understand what I need to do now. I'll take care of Shinra and then find my mother and other two brothers. Time to take charge of my life!_

I smiled, "Merllorzoa Shinra is back."


End file.
